


Arcadia

by wonwoozi



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 09:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6046711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonwoozi/pseuds/wonwoozi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jinyoung doesn’t know how he ended up like this, lying to himself every day to keep everybody else happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Arcadia

**Author's Note:**

> _"I was hoping that you'd care,_  
>  _I was distant I was scared,_  
>  _Arcadia,_  
>  _Sometimes things don't come full circle"_  
>  \- The Kite String Tangle, [Arcadia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWpd_puW0UQ)

Jinyoung doesn’t know how he ended up like this- lying to himself every day to keep everybody else happy. He supposes that it’s got something to do with how his needs have always been in second place, regarded only after his parents wants and desires were considered. He never asked for much, didn’t want to be a nag, and he was never late for anything (didn’t want to hold anyone up). It was just his nature to put other people before him. And everybody was fine with it. He felt a little used, in all honesty, because he couldn’t recall one time somebody had actually decided to put his feelings before theirs. He couldn’t truly recall the last time he actually liked someone.

That is, until he meets Jaebum. Jaebum is the only person Jinyoung has ever known who he thinks he could actually spend his life with. And he doesn’t mean that in the marriage sense, he just means it in the life-long-companion sense (similar to marriage but a little less romantic). 

 

He’s not sure how it happens but one autumn day, while drinking a new and unique Starbucks blend and reading his latest hipster book, he ends up being asked out by Im Jaebum. Well, it seems that way until Jaebum spills the beans and admits he needs to bring a date to his parents family dinner or they’ll practically disown him and Jackson isn't free. They’re far from strangers, having hung out at least 15 times before, but they're not exactly as close as can be. Jaebum's parents have arranged a girl for him to go with however, a friend from childhood, and he already knows he can’t stand her from the arduous hours he’s spent doing puzzles with her at Christmas gatherings. So Jinyoung agrees, because his needs come second, and what are friends for?

 

The entire evening ends up a mess. Jaebum's mother gets into a fight with one of her colleagues and wine ends up being spilt as a result. On top of that, the cat has vomited and a baby is crying somewhere and nobody’s really sure what to do. 

“Alright, that’s it, I’m saving you from this trainwreck.” Jaebum murmurs to Jinyoung as he grabs him by the arm and pulls him down to the wine cellar. 

They’ve already drunk a bit, the glasses of celebratory champagne washed down with dinner, but it’s not enough to get smashed by any means. They grab a few bottles, each carrying one white and one red, and make their way up to Jaebum’s room. Jinyoung’s never been to Jaebum’s house before but it’s large and the ornamental decorations that litter the walls and tabletops are stunning. He can tell it’s expensive. Not exactly what he expected in contrast with Jaebum’s apartment, something he’s acquainted many times. Jaebum’s apartment is small and modest, a true grunge hangout. It has Nirvana and Pearl Jam posters stuck haphazardly on the walls, just waiting to fall down, and there are random band magazines lying all about the place. It also smells a bit musky (in a good way), sort of the way Jaebum smells, really. Jinyoung likes it a lot if he's being honest.

 

They flop down on the bed in Jaebum’s old room and it’s much different to his current living situation. The walls are pure, unsaturated white and there are baby blue bedsheets tucked perfectly into place. It’s incredibly vacant, bar the few board games stacked high in the corner, clearly discarded from an older time in life. The duvet is silk and it feels extremely soft to Jinyoung’s touch. He opts for rubbing his face against it as Jaebum cracks open two bottles of wine and passes one over. They drink and talk and laugh and drink some more until Jinyoung’s not sure if his stomach is fluttering from excitement or nausea. 

 

“So when did you come out to your parents?” Jaebum asks, taking a large sip of what alcohol remained. Jinyoung sighs and props his head up on his hand, watching Jaebum reclining on the armchair opposite.

“I don’t know. I think they kind of always knew. I officially had to tell them after they saw a photo of me sucking face with some guy at a party. Seriously, when teachers tell you to up your privacy settings, they know what they’re talking about.”

Jaebum practically pisses himself at the new information, clutching his stomach as the obnoxious laughter pours out of him.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Anyway , Mr.Sexually Ambiguous, which team do you bat for?” Jinyoung asks as smoothly as he can, leaning forwards a little and giving Jaebum  _ the eyebrow.  _ Jaebum chuckles and leans back in his chair, looking at Jinyoung with a giddy half-smirk.

“I don’t particularly care. I don’t bother with alliances, if the team’s good and they play well, I’m into it.” He shrugs, earning a giggle from Jinyoung.

“Fair enough, makes sense.” The younger smiles, eyeing Jaebum up and down subtly.

“Are you checking me out?” Jaebum inquires.

Shit. Okay so clearly not _that_ subtly.

“What? Am I not allowed to appreciate my friend’s outfit on this fine eve?”

Jaebum rolls his eyes.

“Oh so I’m your friend now, am I? Last time I checked, you referred to me as ‘Jackson’s obnoxious grunge friend’.” He challenges, running his finger around the rim of the wine bottle.

Jinyoung’s mouth falls open a little.

“Shit, did Mark tell you that? Okay I can explain-” He begins, feeling embarrassed at the look of amusement on Jaebum’s face.

“That was before I actually knew you properly. That was, like, the second time I’d met you. We’ve hung out way more times together since then. You’re.. a lot nicer and cooler than I initially thought, okay?” Jinyoung doesn’t enjoy the bitter taste of an apology on his tongue but he forks it up anyway, because Jaebum is actually a pretty great guy.

Jaebum just grins stupidly and nods, embracing Jinyoung’s words. They end up in a slightly awkward eye-lock, the room around them falling to silence. Jinyoung sees Jaebum’s eyes flicker down to his lips for a second.

“Would it be weird if I asked if we could make out?” He says, lolling his head to the side with raised eyebrows.

“I dunno, can I sit in your lap?” Jinyoung fires back. Jaebum nods. And that’s the first time they share a kiss.

 

It progresses a little from there. They become a lot closer, emotionally, and end up hanging out a lot more by default. The first time Jinyoung realises he could actually do with being around Jaebum a little more is when he decides he’ll take the bus home to avoid inconveniencing Jaebum, an offer his friends would usually give a nod and a wave goodbye, but Jaebum refuses to let him. Instead, he drives him all the way home and even makes sure he gets into his apartment okay and as soon as Jinyoung’s front door is shut, he feels something in his chest. It feels like the first time anybody’s actually gone out of their way to help him out. It feels nice.

 

The first time they have sex is in the back of Jaebum’s car. It’s a BMW, apparently gifted to him by his grandparents as a birthday present, and the smooth leather seats feel cool against Jinyoung’s shoulder blades as Jaebum pushes him back, wrestling his own shirt off in the process. Jinyoung looks up at him, admiring his strong jawline, dragging his eyes across Jaebum’s collar bones and down to his stomach, eyeing the happy trail. Jaebum is built nicely, he has broad, tanned shoulders, subtle abs and back muscles to die for, but Jinyoung isn’t so sure it’s just his body he’s attracted to. 

He’s abruptly snapped out of his thoughts by Jaebum’s hands on his buckle and his lips on his neck and Jinyoung’s eyes almost roll into the back of his skull. He hasn’t gotten laid in ages and the feeling of Jaebum’s hands on his body is driving him crazy. 

 

He comes with Jaebum’s name on his lips like a prayer, clutching a fistful of his hair as he rides out his orgasm. Jaebum peppers kisses up his chest and presses even more into his neck and Jinyoung doesn’t think he’s felt this good in years, even if the seat belt plug is digging into his hip.

“Fuck…” He whispers, eyes darting up to meet Jaebum’s. Jaebum just gives him a smirk, that god fucking arrogant golden smirk he always has on his face, and Jinyoung can’t help but laugh out of sheer delight.

“Okay fine, I admit it,” He confesses as he pushes his sweat covered hair out of his face. “You are a good lay.”

“Told you.” Jaebum laughs as he pulls back and feels around for his clothes.

 

From then on out they’re fucking on a fairly regular basis. Mark insists that they’re fuck buddies, but Jinyoung doesn’t feel like the label fits. Or maybe it’s just too crude? Good friends that have sex sometimes. Okay, yeah, so they’re fuck buddies. 

But at some point the line becomes blurred, because they have no-strings-attached sex, followed by friendly activities, and it’s hard to separate the two. It feels a bit weird when Jaebum gets Jinyoung off better than anybody else ever has, when Jaebum knows exactly what makes him feel good and what makes him tick, and then suddenly they’re playing video games in Jaebum’s apartment like nothing ever even happened (and he's pretty sure it's not weird just because he knows Kurt Cobain’s poster eyes have seen him naked multiple times). He doesn’t question it though, because this is a sweet deal that they have going and there’s no way Jinyoung’s going to ruin it.

 

He doesn’t expect it when Jaebum comes one day, Jinyoung’s mouth wrapped around his dick, his hands in Jinyoung’s hair, and a name falls off his tongue.

“Fuck, Youngjae…” Jaebum groans quietly as his head falls back, Jinyoung pulling away as he cums. They tie off the condom and throw it in the waste bin and everything feels more awkward than usual. Jaebum’s doing his jeans up when he asks.

“Hey, uh, sorry about just now. Was that really weird?”

Jinyoung looks up at him.

“Um, a little. But it’s not a big deal.” He replies quietly, doing his best to ignore the sickly feeling in his stomach.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, it just kinda.. slipped out. It’s chill though, right? I mean, this..  _ thing  _ we’ve got going on is just a good time between friends?”

Jinyoung gulps down the lump in his throat and just smiles, nodding as though nothing’s wrong. Nothing should be wrong.  _ Do it for Jaebum, Jinyoung, his needs are more important. _

“So do you like Youngjae then?” Jinyoung asks with as good of a chuckle as he can muster, but it still rings fake. Jaebum doesn’t seem to notice though as he blushes and scratches his neck.

“Yeah. I was actually thinking about asking him out, do you think I should do it?”

Jinyoung thinks about Youngjae. He’s only met him a handful of times but the boy is undeniably lovely. His smile is like a ray of sunlight on a gloomy day, and he’s a music major. He and Jaebum often have lengthy conversations about musical genres and eras, conversations that sound alien to Jinyoung’s ears at times. He thinks about how Youngjae sometimes buys Jaebum coffee or makes him bento boxes, how well he knows what Jaebum likes, and the answer is clear.

“Youngjae’s perfect for you, Jaebum. You should definitely ask him out.” He smiles but he knows his words are hollow, even if he knows they're true. Because he doesn’t want them to date, he doesn’t want this to end. He doesn’t understand how he managed to trick himself into thinking this was different. But he sucks it up and puts Jaebum first because that’s all he knows and that’s all he can do. Jaebum breaks out into a smile and walks over to Jinyoung, placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. It lingers and Jinyoung can feel his skin prickle at the proximity.

“Thanks Jinyoung, you’re a great friend.”

And with that Jaebum leaves.

_ Huh, who would’ve thought being a great friend would feel so shitty. _

Jinyoung doesn’t know how he ended up like this- lying to himself every day to keep everybody else happy, to keep Jaebum happy. He just knows one thing: he definitely isn’t happy.

  
  


Jaebum slams his door as soon as he gets home, kicking over his trash can as he throws his keys at the wall. He knows he’s being ridiculous, acting like a giant child, but he’s never been good at controlling his temper. He holds his head in his hands, yanking at the hair there, mentally kicking himself over and over. Why did he think it would work? There was no way Jinyoung would be jealous of Youngjae because Jinyoung didn’t like him in the first place. He replays the scene in his head; Jinyoung smiling and telling him to ask Youngjae out. It's true he had once liked the younger musician in a not-so-platonic way, but the feelings had long since faded. He sighs and pulls out his phone, opening up a text to Jackson.

**It didn’t work, he wasn’t jealous, now he just thinks I have a huge crush on Youngjae.**

He sits on his couch and stares up at the ceiling, cursing himself for ever even considering the ridiculous plan in the first place. What did he expect? Jinyoung would just become beside himself with jealousy and confess to him? It was absurd. Why did feelings have to be so fucking confusing?! Why did he have to fall for the one person he wasn’t meant to fall for? The one person who clearly didn’t like him back. He hears his phone vibrate, the small noise causing a rift in the deafening silence. He reluctantly pulls it out and reads the message from his friend. 

**oh well dude, plenty of fish in the sea. i guess sometimes things dont come full circle.**

**Author's Note:**

> okkkk so ive been going thru a really long writers block and this is the first thing ive been able to finish in ages so i just thought id upload it. (silly boys dont realise that theyre in love lmao). its not beta'd or anythin and its super late here so its probably illegible but thank u sm to anyone who read it!!! <3 hope u have a fab day
> 
> btw u guys should def listen to arcadia its rly good and makes me v emo


End file.
